Rant

yes, well, I dont think I can really update that well tonight, as I am too busy rocking out to various musicks...soz. Plus I feel kind of emo. Although I suppose that writing your feelings is supposed to make you feel better in some way. What was that cool word I learned recently? Catharsis, that was it. It refers to a cleansing or purging of the mind. Also, since this is pretty much a journal since I have so few readers, I dont really have to give a damn what I write. I suppose I should have known this a long time ago, but you know how the saying goes, I may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, but at least I got the f*ck up and used my sharpness to its extent, unlike those fancy paring knives that can cut through boots and cement but never do. Yep, just an old-fashioned steak knife here. Although this steak knife likes bloody steak. We had steak for dinner today and, again, despite my requests, it was almost thermo-nuclear by the time it came out of the grill. Crissake, I dont even know if I will like the rare steak that much, how should I? I never get to have one! Guess one of these days Ill simply have to go out and cook my own bitchy self one of those and see. Maybe then I'd learn something as well...Hmm, intriguing. Acually, I lied, writing is making me feel a little better. I also like how this post is essentially stream of consciousness with no regard for structure whatsoever. Other than that, my life is rather lacking in the annoyances department. Maybe I should complain less. Come to think of it, complaining is by far the stupidest thing about this world. People complain about the stupidest things all the time, and yet they never take concrete steps within themselves to make the change lasting! You can change your environment all you want. You can alter the people you surround yourself with as well, however the change in your situation will only come when you achieve a new outlook yourself. And this does not come from developing new ways to word your problems to get more sympathy. I dont care if my life was cushy and distanced from the realities of life. fuck. I rolled the celestial roulette table and landed on the right square to be distanced from everyone I have ever associated with personally and economically from everyone else. I guess you could say I need to put some more points into CHA, rather than INT and STA next level. But STA is the only thing that has driven me through all this, when others fizzle, I shine. When others bitch, I work harder. When others have fun, I dont. Simple as that. Having friends or relationships in general has affected my life very little. Woah...well, shit. Hope nobody gets the impression that this is some kind of suicide thingy. My self-esteem is waaaaaay to high for that. Not that im religiously opposed to anything like that, its just not my cup of tea. My cup of tea is really more like an Earl Grey. MMMMMM, that actually sounds very good right now. I may just make myself a cup now, in fact.

*UPDATE*
Also, happy 20th post to me, and also happy longest post ever!