I planned on watching much of the twilight zone marathon on sci fi channel this new years weekend, however this plan changed abruptly when I realized that at the exact same time TCM was having a Marx Brothers marathon. The night was pretty amazing over all because I got to play axis and allies mono e mono with my brother, Andy, which is always a blast. Secondly, I got to play some left for dead with andre and wii with austin erickson. Then, the night got even better with the Marx brothers marathon. Andre, my dad, austin and I all watched the 1st 3/4 of 'Duck Soup', my favorite of theirs, I might add, and, after austin passed out on the couch, the remaining group watched 'go west', 'a night at the opera' and 'a day at the races'...necessarily in that order. We ended up staying up past 6 am, missing the ball drop early into this foray during 'Duck Soup'.Upon completing this marathon andre and I ventured to play some Left for Dead 2 on our computers...We ended up failing at a mission several times (understatement) so we gave up at around 830 am and that was that, the zombies won.
Now, you may ask why I was staying up this late, as I know it is very uncharacteristic of myself. Well, this was due fact that for some reason, austin had to be in st. cloud by freaking 12 noon to catch a bus back to his place. UGH. So I felt like I would be more drowsy trying to drive if I had slept than not at all. Almost should have not invited him. Would have felt annoyed by it if mike, zach and leah all decided to bail on me because of the "weather", which was bad earlier in the day but by night had been reduced to a steady breeze of dry snow. Bah. Fuck em. I dont need them if they dont need me. I dont think ill really venture to communicate with them so much for the rest of this break period as it seems to me they just blew me off because they were lazy or wanted to smoke weed which they cannot do at my house. I get so tired of the terse phone conversations with mike nowadays. Its really beginning to bother me because I really would like to be his friend, but he just seems to drift away from me each time I go back to school for a semester and it takes weeks of effort to gain back his trust, it seems. But, maybe its like that for all friends. Who cares anyways? God, I need to focus more on my research and reading anyways because they never really begin to bother like some people do. So it leads to the question, why should I even have expected him to show up? This thought really goes against my selfish, pessimistic life philosophy I am venturing to develop. Bad thoughts, its a new year. I wish to pursue my life exactly how it comes to me this year and if I desire human contact, I will get it, either from family OR friends, and if i do not desire it, I will focus my efforts on my occupation. I know this will work because I have achieved everything I every desired to achieve in the past four years, and that will not change so long as my goals are always kept to heart. Also, fuck you, austin, fuck you and you holier than thou perception of you god-awful, piss for brains university, also, fuck you worthless, inane choice of occupation. I really wish I would just tell you this in person when you crack at SCSU, but for now, it will only be here. All I know is that I WILL be able to find a well-paying, satisfying job wherever I wish to work it, and you will be stuck suckling off the teat of us driven, practical folk for the rest of your miserable life.
Well, that was fun, I really think keeping this journal is fun, hopefully no employer will dig in here too deep and take this too seriously, as it is only harmless venting. And when you cant yell and fight, thinking it out loud and putting it into perspective is the next best thing.
